I’ve been working on a “domestic discipline” novel for several years now. I put DD in quotes because, while the idea started out that way, it really becomes more of a 24/7 BDSM relationship than a DD one. I sort of stalled out at a scene in a BDSM club, and I don’t really know if I’ll come back to this book or not, but here’s one of the sex scenes:

One thing Angie could always count on was that, no matter what else was going on, her husband would never give less than his all when it came to pleasing her. Sometimes Angie actually felt bad that he did so much and all she had to do was lie there, but he’d assured her countless times that he got off when she got off.

And this time Jake refused to let her even try to do anything. Every move she made to take at least a small modicum of control was rebuffed — usually when he pushed her back onto the bed — but it all felt so good that she barely cared.

He’d started fast, too; he’d bypassed her neck and her breasts to push her legs apart, burying his face between her thighs. His tongue was inside her before she could even process, his right hand spread across her lower stomach, thumb just above her clit. The pressure there, plus the way his upper palate provided a firm surface below, sandwiched her clit neatly in such a way that every time he shifted his finger a burst of pleasure exploded outward.

It wasn’t long before her first orgasm swept over her. Jake pressed his entire mouth up against her, trying to get his tongue deeper into her, his breath a series of strained hisses through his nose where it was shoved up against her bare skin.

Then his finger was inside, along with his tongue, and Angie lost track of pretty much everything for a little while. When she eventually came back to her senses, Jake had her legs up on his shoulders and the head of his cock brushing her lips.

“Please,” Angie moaned. “Please, please–“

“I don’t want to hurt you–“

“Fuck me!” It was as close to a command as she ever came with him. “Fuck me, Jake! Fuck me– shit!”

That last was because he’d done exactly what she’d said: he’d thrust into her, hard and deep, stretching her in one fast movement. “Fuck fuck fuck!”

“Ang–“

“Don’t you fucking dare stop!”

“But if I’m hurting you–“

“Then hurt me!” Angie grabbed his upper arms and dug in her nails. “I want it to hurt,” she said, staring up into his eyes. “Please, Jake, hurt me. Fuck me, and hurt me. Please.”

I particularly like this scene because Angie doesn’t usually express herself well in terms of what she wants her husband to do, which makes it more impactful when she does.

The same thing applies in real life, too, although usually — despite being the top/dom — I am the one who has trouble expressing what I want in bed. It’s because I don’t want to feel like I’m imposing, even though my partner has made it clear through prior discussion and negotiation that said imposition is exactly what she wants.

Humans are complicated.